from now on my penis is your penis
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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