Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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