cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize