i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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