Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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