just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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