it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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