i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
