I want to stick my p in your. b.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
