Cold hands, warm shart.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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