fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
