I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize
