So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
