Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize