My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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