If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
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