I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You dont lie about slip and slides
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
