someone threw a dead crab at me
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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