Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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