Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I didn't notice because vodka
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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