You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
