he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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