Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize