yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
