im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
