i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
