I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
