i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
