Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
whose parrot is this?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
