I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
