He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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