Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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