"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
