Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize