so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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