I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
