Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
