Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
