I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
