Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
