I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize