can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Two words: nipple clamps
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