Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
