you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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