i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I don't think brook has ever known best
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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