Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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