wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
