im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
