Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize