A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
