Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
