I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
