we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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