she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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