The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
