it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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