Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Mom said you looked used
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
